Thursday, September 9, 2010

Unfit to Wed - Why Did You Get Married?

Hello my beautiful readers (if you're still reading this blog - lol!!!),

As you can see I only write when something really poignant grips me or makes me think tremendously and the last couple of weeks have been interesting and trying. I've learned some interesting things about myself, about life, a lot about love, and about how complicated the simplest things can be. I spend a lot of time in my head and it can be a pretty dangerous place. With the way that things have gone emotionally for the past few weeks, I'll be writing a lot more so you guys (hopefully) will be reading some more.

What am I thinking about right now?

I've found myself over the last couple of months repeating to myself and to a few significant people the same phrases over and over. "I know what I have to offer." Or I'll preface sentences with, "As a woman with a strong desire to be married...." I started thinking about that and the fact that I think I'm a pretty good catch. I know that I would make someone a wonderful wife. Not just with the given physical benefits of living under the same roof but with supporting and loving my husband, fighting for him, loving him some more, maintaining a house, cooking, taking care of babies, basically the 24 hour job that a wife takes on when she says "I do." I've come to realize that that's what "I do" means. I do and do and do and do. lol!!!! But I digress.

With the willingness that I've found in myself to be a good wife (this isn't to say that I don't have flaws) but with that willingness, I find so many women unwilling to do all the things I've listed and somehow, wind up with wonderful men. Dedicated men that love their families and stick it out for the sake of that.... FAMILY. With the knowledge that broken homes are difficult places to live.

Why is that? Or is it just me? Am the only one that sees this kind of thing a little more frequently everyday? Men that don't want to go home but have to because they made a promise and because they need to keep a sense of normalcy for the children.

Women that don't speak a positive word to the men they married. Women too independent to do laundry or pick up a pot and boil some spaghetti. Women whose priorities far exceed their address and being at home (especially at a decent hour) is too much to ask. Why is that?

I would venture to ask why the men stick it out but I've already answered that question.

My mother was just on the phone with my brother a moment ago and I was in a different room. She speaks loudly so no matter where I am, I'm always in earshot. lol!!!! But from her tone over the phone I could tell he was upset. She said, "Let me tell you somethin'. Any woman that doesn't adhere to the basic duties of a wife and taking care of her husband's needs, should've never married in the first place." Of course we live in a new era of family but I'm a little old school as far as this topic is concerned.

Granted, people get married for the wrong reasons and I know once children are thrown in the mix things get far more complicated but is there a right way to end a bad thing?

1 comment:

Racquel said...

Wow Ashley, great blog. one thing is for sure is that marriage is definitely something that you have to say "I do" to daily. there are days that I want to say "I don't" and "I won't" but somewhere deep down inside that "I do" resignates and do it. Signing the divorce papers is as easy as signing the marriage licsence. with marriage comes GREAT RESPONSIBLITY.....alot of self denial, and I agree with the phone conversation that you lent your ear to......a wife can't be a wife without ACCOUNTABILITY in everyway, including sexually. sure there are women prettier than me, sexier, longer hair, more skinny, etc., but when I hear my husband tell me that I am doing a good job, not with "just" cleaning, cooking, sex, etc., but just being a wife, "you're a good wife Racquel." I thank God, because it's a daily choice, and so many people stop choosing. Now if you are being abused and mistreated.....flee....but when you KNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW you gotta a good man/woman....and you act a fool.....well then, WOE TO YOU!