Wednesday, July 16, 2008
One F.I.N.E. Day
It’s rare that I open a discussion with a question but here goes. Have you ever noticed that when someone is having an “emotional breakdown” and you ask them what’s wrong they quickly answer “I’m fine!” The two words alone exude an emotionalism that represents the opposite of what’s been said. All of us have experienced someone like this (even if we’re the basket case on the other end) but have you ever taken the time to consider what the word FINE actually means in the mind of an exceedingly emotional person? No? Well, you know I’m about to tell you. One of my best girlfriends (yes, this is the same chic I’ve referred to on more than one occasion) and I had one of our deeply theoretical and analytical discussions a few months back. Allow me to set the stage. The two of us are not your typical emotionalists. We cry when we’ve “had it” – more so out of anger and frustration than sadness. Our tears are mere manifestations of us not being able to name and place all of the shit that’s going on in our heads. We think first (and this thinking isn’t always logical – at least not for me), we analyze, and then we wear it rather than release it. We make it a part of us. Our favorite phrase . . . you guessed it . . . “I’m fine!” One particular day we were both having one of those days. You know the ones. The days when nothing’s going right. You call the ones that are supposed to care simply to vent and you don’t get an answer, you feel overlooked, neglected, slighted, and forgotten, co-workers are constantly pissing you off, money’s funny and you can’t think straight (or in our cases – we’re thinking entirely too much). The first circumstances mentioned are usually the reasons that the latter instances become too much to handle (if you need a refresher go back and read the list of “make me crazy” instances). One thing always seems to make everything else appear damn near unbearable. Now picture the two of us going through this and trying to help each other through this emotional whirlwind. Too funny. So instead of explaining what we thought we might be feeling we decided to take a different approach. I think the first thing that she said was . . .uh huh . . . “I’m fine!” and I think we both started thinking about the adjective – FINE. I believe I asked a question similar to the one that I’ve opened this post with today. Long story short, we turned it into an acronym and she mentioned it to me earlier this week epitomizing the type of day . . . no, the type of week I’ve been having. This is our definition of FINE. Ready? Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional. Now, tell me that’s not the most accurate definition you’ve heard for that “I’m fine!” phrase in a while. Oh and you can’t forget the exclamation point which punctuates that “hostility”. “I’m fine!” I don’t have a question today. I’m just taking this opportunity to get this off my chest but needless to say, I’ll never look at that word/phrase the same again. So, I’ve just given you all a little inside track into the world of two very analytical and emotional people who are probably more sane than we may come across to people that don’t necessarily “get” us. The next time you’re having one of THOSE days and someone asks how your day is going, just say . . . “Oh I’m just having a FINE day.” The beautiful reality of that is that they’ll assume one thing but you’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve explained your day on so many levels without having to say too much at all. You’ve also acknowledged your four possible issues to yourself without suppressing them and then blowing up later. “I’m FINE!” You didn’t lie. You’re day was . . . .FINE. Yeah, I guess I just needed to vent. If you’re having a FINE day or week (in my case). . . join the FINE club. If not . . .offer some insight to the rest of us as to how to deal. “Oh Ashley’s having a FINE week!” Be good ya’ll. I’ll holla tomorrow.