Thursday, June 26, 2008

MENtality - Mistake #1

Okay so first I want to give a big shot out to Big Jerz for covering Tuesday’s topic of discussion and to all of you that slacked off with reading and responding Tuesday, don’t worry, you still have time to catch up. With that said, let’s move forward with our discussion. This week we’re cracking the MENtality and we’re getting some answers for the mistakes that we as women make in relationships gone sour. Again, I don’t believe breakups are to be attributed to the guy being an asshole. I believe that women do some unconscious things that cause the men in their lives to pull away. There are three mistakes that women make and each day I’m going to give a mistake, explain where we go wrong, and we’re going to figure out how to rectify these relationship missteps. I’m going to name them but I want the men to explain to me why these things turn them off. Again, gentlemen, we want brutal truth (gritting my teeth). Okay so mistake number one is pretty much a given. We all know this to be a turn off but I think we need to hear what men feel when this mistake is imposed in relationships. Here goes . . .

Mistake #1 – Having a man think that we’re needy and insecure. This includes:
• Talking and saying nasty things about a previous relationship
• Speaking negatively about other women
• Too much physical contact, especially in public

Okay so I have my own reasoning behind why these things can be a turn off to men but I’m not a man and we need to hear why you guys have been turned off by a woman’s NEEDS and INSECURITIES. A few blogs back I got a comment from a male blogger that touched on this subject briefly (day two of LOVE – Ex-Why?-Zzzzz). This is an attempt to make our dealings with each other more effective and less . . . questionable. So to evade the frustration of not being able to “get” each other, we have to ask questions.

Question: Why is a NEEDY or INSECURE woman a turn off?


Ashley M. said...

I must say I am impressed with your editorial “blogging”. It is therapy for the soul. Keep it up, I will give my input soon as I get a breather.

(Submitted by K. Dosunmu)

Big Jerz said...

I think the lack of confidence that insecurity brings can be a turn off. Also, the thing that really turns me off is that FALSE insecurity that women can give off when they want to be stroked or get their way. It's like, why go put on my favorite sweater and Jeans on and then act like you don't know you're looking incredible ! LOL !!! Yall be on some "Who me ? In this ol' Thing ?" Bullshittin ! LOL !!! It can get tiresome always giving those compliments to reassure a woman when we think she already knows how dope she is anyway ! Neediness I don't mind personally ! It makes me feel wanted and relevant. I tend think I'm Fuckin Superman anyway so the more she needs me to hook up the DVD player, take out the garbage, Carve the Roast or keep my face in the right place just a little LONGER, the less she'll ever need to look for someone else to give her that attention. Oh, I must also be a part of the Minority of totally Digging PDAs ! Some men shy away from them thinking it ruins their opportunity to holla at any other woman in the area that might see such affections being displayed...the ill thing is that being that kind of doting man in public can actually draw more attention for other women playing innocent bystander. The tend to look and think "Damn, I wish I had a nigga do me like that in public or in fact as soon as she goes to the bathroom I'm gonna bump into him...accidentally, of course!" I don't know Folks..These are just my thoughts...SCROLLA BLACK !

Ashley M. said...

Couldn't have said it better!

Ashley M. said...

Oh and I think I'm the minority guys. I'm just a different kinda chick but this may be something that I need to work on. maybe a misunderstanding on my part. Or even an underlying insecurity in my overt security. Who the hell knows? I'm too different I think and the comments that we've gotten today have made me look at ME in a different way. So thanks. Got some work to do.