Wednesday, June 11, 2008

The WHY? - Reader questions Pt3

This is getting good, guys! The participation is astounding and I look forward to hearing more from all of you today. I'd also like to welcome the new bloggers! So . . . WELCOME! I decided to put in my two cents and ask a couple questions today as well. My girls came correct with these other questions so answer as many as you wish! Please don't hesitate to send me more provoking, argument stirring (and I mean that in a good way) questions and we'll get them posted and answered for you! The way this is going this may trickle into next week. Here we go . . .

1 - Why is it that women instantly become insecure when you know your man (or significant other) is in the presence of other women, all the while knowing he sees them and may even find them attractive but still isn't interested? Why do women (or men for that matter) struggle so heavily with insecurity in relationships? (Submitted by Ace)

2 - "All you need is love." - Is this quote true? (Submitted by lovinthisjourney)

3 - Is it better to win a woman through her heart or through intelligence? (Submitted by lovinthisjourney)

4 - Is it better to have free access to a person we love, but that doesn't fully return our love or to be loved perfectly by someone who is not free to us (i.e. free access)? (Submitted by lovinthisjourney)

5 - In relationships communication is so vital. We all know this to be true. But what part of communication is a more important communication tool - talking or listening? (Submitted by RockWill)

6 - Why is love so hard? (Submitted by Ace)


Ashley M. said...

Question 3 – Being the type of woman that I am, I pride myself on my intelligence (when it counts) and yes, intelligence is important in relationships. However, I’m also very passionate and I follow my heart as the age-old adage goes. If you can’t capture my heart then I haven’t been captured. Point blank. The HEART of the matter is love flows from the HEART and then the mind follows. It isn’t the other way around. On the technical side of things, the heart is one of the most vital organs in the body. The mind can’t function without appropriate activity from the heart. We know this and this analogy applies just as effectively in the emotional arena. I’d rather be with a man that can be open hearted and that’s compelled to win my heart rather than my mind. That’s just the kid. What do you all think?

Ashley M. said...

Question 4 – Now when this question was submitted I was stumped. My girl brought “it” with this one and I couldn’t wait to put my thoughts to paper. But it’s really not that complex or that hard to answer. Not to me anyway. Listen to the way it’s asked and the phrasing of the words. To me . . . the latter is far better than the former. The love that you have for that distant lover will be your comfort when you can’t see them all of the time. It’s frustrating being with someone all the time that really isn’t there with you. Let me explain. You can spend all of your time with someone that you may love but they don’t really love you like you need them to. That makes them distant and not really there in the first place. Think about it . . . that person that you are mad for that may live miles away or they live in good proximity but have a whacked schedule that keeps them occupied far more than you’d like . . . if they’re reciprocating that same mad passion for you (whether you see them physically enough or not), why does physical distance matter? They’re closer to you than the person that’s there physically but not there emotionally. Just my thoughts (I stole your tag jerz!) Holla atcha girl!

Ashley M. said...

Question 5 – This one is like the revolving door effect – a never-ending cycle. Let me get up on my communications-major high horse and talk a bit about it! My communications professors used to instruct us all the time that communication is a two way street. This doesn’t mean both people have to talk. This means we take turns. There’s a talker and a listener. Not just a talker and not just relentless talking from both parties. Effective communication comes when both parties assigned different elements of communication (talking or listening) do their job and do it well. Now let’s keep in mind the talker has to be compelling. They have to make their message known without yelling, blaming, pointing fingers, and unnecessary assumption. Speak from your heart. The listener’s job is to listen. Not to hear, but to listen. There’s a difference. Listening requires retention. Hearing doesn’t. But neither “job” ends there. Action needs to take place after that. Action from both parties. So to answer the question, both elements are equally important and carry a significant amount of weight. Oh and both parties need to take part in practicing each role/job/function in the relationship. So I guess you can use this stuff in real life! LOL!!!! Whew! Hope that answers your question RockWill!

Big Jerz said...

Since I'm a damn Genius I'll go down the list and answer each question one at a time ! LOL !!!
#1-People struggle with Insecurity because of the Vulnerability involved in giving yourself to another. Especially in a relationship where you are already personally uncomfortable with some of your Physical Attributes.

#2-HELL NO NIGGA ! You need Money, Good Sex, Trust, Communication, Great Sex, A little more money, Spontaneity, Imagination, INCREDIBLE Sex and more MONEY. And by the way, spontaneous oral copulation to your man makes him feel like a fucking ROCKSTAR ! He will kill himself getting home to you just because you "GO THERE" without him having to BEG You !!!! Trust me ladies, a little extra mile goes a Looooooong Way ! Or a short way if he's not holding ! HA LOL !!!

#3-Through her heart. I know a man who would be considered by secular standards as Uneducated and maybe not the sharpest knife in the drawer but his passion for his Wife and children, his undying devotion to them and his focus and drive to care for them has endeared his family to him. In fact his ways have made him the picture of respectable Manhood to many others that have watched his life...including Me ! He's my favorite Uncle and I love him like he was my own father, and he was just that in so many ways ! Anyway...Her Heart !

#4- First of all it sounds like you need to NOT be in love with a nigga in prison ! Free Access ? HA ! LOL !!! Just kidding... ummm. Good Question. I think whatever price you have to pay for the gift of a love that you could call PERFECT is a small price to pay. Use the perfection of that love to fuel your journey toward making that access a reality !

#5- My favorite Blogger ! Good ole RockWill ! Umm...Listening is the only way you can ever really know what the hell to talk about so ....LISTEN FIRST, talk Last, LOVE MORE !

#6- Love is so hard because it is the most important natural substance the World has ever known ! It is the only substance that we can immediately identify with GOD Himself. Love is the End all Be All and it's hard to maintain because Real love will cost you EVERYTHING !

Now I have a question.......
If Big Jerz has all of the Answers Why is He still such a fuck up ? DOn't all answer at once...take your time ! Holla at me my Niggas !

Erma said...

Well said.