Thursday, June 26, 2008

MENtality (Reply question)

I had a female blogger send me this question in response to today's post! Here's another one for you guys to answer. Men tell the truth. Ladies feel free to share personal experiences.

I have a question though I'm not a dude, do men really not like physical contact (especially in public) my husband must be a minority cause he initiates it more than I do, and I know one of the other bloggers man is a student of PDA........are there men that think that is aggrevating (not that it matters anymore) but I was just wondering.
(Submitted by RockWill)

9 comments:

Ashley M. said...

In response to your question Rock, I don't think it's a matter of not liking the contact at all but a lot of times women can go overboard with the kissing, rubbing, and other nonsense that should be left for home. I'm a little different and when I'm out with a guy, I have a tendency to exude my connection to him without having to actually continue to touch him. This is why this is considered an insecurity. Think about it . . . when you see a woman constantly touching and grabbing at the man that she's with she's sending two messages. One: To the women in the room to back off. Two: To the man she's with I'm needy and insecure. Now this isn't to discount the relationship that you've built with your GORGEOUS husband and I wouldn't even put you in the category of an insecure woman but I think that women take that PDA thing too far. I also believe that men shy away from it because women kill it with PDA. They've dealt with it so much that they don't really know how to take it when it's done properly and there is a RIGHT way to show affection in public. I think that's it. Make sense?

Ashley M. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ashley M. said...

Strong views you have about this but I respect how you feel. I think that if a couple decides not to show PDA that's there business. I feel it's extremely healthy and NEEDED. I've seen the majority of your male bloggers show their wives and girlfriends mad PDA, and I've seen Lovethisjourney's man show her crazy affection (their sickening........lol) I think it's totally healthy. If my husband bends to kiss me I'm going to kiss him back, if he reaches for my hand I'm going to hold his, if he puts his arm around me I'm going to come a little closer to him. Men are creatures who need the physical so they love that...........a man who never wanted to touch me in public would concern me especially if I called him boyfriend, but if that's what one likes that's them. I spoke with a 34 year old guy this weekend that it would appear he was a thug and didn't like the connection to relationship, but he asked me do you know any good women.........kinda taken aback I said reluctantly "yeah" I asked "what do you look for in a woman and the first thing he said was "she MUST be affectionate, I don't want anyone who doesn't want to be close to me. I think there is indeed a place for being slobbed down, and gropped, but a gentle kiss, a holding of hands, a wink, is always in order. I'm glad for the PDA that's in my relationship..............when my man reaches for my hand when I'm least expecting it, it let's me know that he doesn't mind letting people know this is my woman and I'm so happy to hold her hand. When I'm with him, I could careless what other women are around, why waste my energy on them. It's all about us! That's it!

(RockWill)

Ashley M. said...

Well I hope that my personal preference doesn't deem me an unhealthy as a woman. I'm not like all women. Don't get me wrong . . . I am incredibly affectionate when it's needed. But I'm not the type to be all up in a dude's face when we're out. People have been around me when I'm with a guy that I'm dating and can vouch for that fact. You can tell that I love him and so can he but I don't necessarily need to be touching you all the time, whispering in your ear, and kissing you as soon as someone leaves the room. Again love, these are my personal views and you're right they are strong but that's just how I roll. It hasn't made me a bad woman in relationships and when I feel that he needs some affection I show it. Not all the time. That's how I roll. Just like lovinthisjourney rolls a different way. I honestly don't believe that my view on PDA makes me a potentially bad girlfriend because I'm not doing it all the time. And I think you missed a very important word in the first post today. The word was TOO. Too much affection in public shows a type of insecurity. I didn't say don't do it. So maybe the kid is the weird one of the bunch. I guess I need to work on my girlfriend skills.

Ashley M. said...

Wow. Maybe that does say a lot about me as a woman. Maybe there's an issue that I need to look into. I'm not really sure. I don't think my point of view is coming across the way that I'd like so . . . I'm not the perfect girlfriend but I do believe I'm a damn good woman and any man that's dealt with me knows that. So my not being affectionate so that the world knows my business must make me . . . not like other women. And ironically enough I have friends in other circles that share the same views that I do. It's really a matter of opinion and personal preference but I don't think it's fair to say that one woman isn't GOOD because she's not holding hands with her man in public. I'm not saying any of this to say that I don't do these things but I don't do it every single time I'm out. I'm sorry!

Ashley M. said...

Any comments on the other 2 "side notes" concerning insecurity? Talking about other chicks or past relationships . . . Well since we've spent so much time and energy on PDA alone I think the others were left hangin'. It's totally normal to talk about a past relationship but when you get into bitter spouts of aggression towards a past lover, that doesn't only make you look insecure but you look like a . . . bitch, for lac k of a better word. What reason do you have to do that? You're with someone that you love? or may love in the future right? Why waste time. And it's beyond evident that when you talk about other women negatively it's just an outward expression of how you feel inwardly and that's . . . . INSECURE! Just my thoughts now. Don't hesitate to disagree.

Big Jerz said...

Real talk their is a difference between Public DISPLAY and Public DISRESPECT ! If a woman needs to have her fuckin throat licked out in public then shorty is insecure and just trying to 'Mark" her due in my opinion. Relax...save the foreplay for home ! A kiss, a hand hold or a back stroke...all good but don't pop a titty in your mouth or use tounge too much ! The test is this, if I wouldn't do it at the altar when the preacher says kiss the bride then I don't need to be doing it at the diner or the movies ! As much as I LOVE affection and the element of TOUCH with my Wife, there are certain things the Public doesn't need to see or care to see !

Big Jerz said...

Not to cause any offense or stir a Firestorm of sorts Ash...but when you get into a relationship that's totally RECIPROCAL in nature, you may relent on some of your stronger misgivings. You'll find someone that feeds you so fulfillingly that you'll LOVE to be up in his face. That's not unhealthy...nor is it unhealthy to keep your space while in public. It does sound like....Uggghhh ! I have to say this so don't get MAD at me....but....You never mentioned in your responses to ROCKWILL How much in love the Dude is with you ! You said you He can know your feelings by just a look so your touch isn't needed to reaasure him, nor is your kiss or hand clutch or whatever. But what do you need ? When does he forsake the agenda of his security for the purpose of Fortifying how he feels about you. Most of what I do for Mona in public or private...I do for Her, not for me. Just a thought based on my observations... DOLLA CRACK

Ashley M. said...

Very good point! All I can say is I gotta do some searching guys. Damn, I guess it was me today. Thanks for the feedback. I needed it!