Last week I had one of my enlightening conversations. I was talking to someone about a "love situation" and somehow we or, should I say he, likened it to my new found love of gardening and planting and all that good stuff. You'll get the gist of the conversation if you pay close attention to this analogy.
So, I'm growing tomatoes, among other veggies, but when growing a tomato plant it's vital to prune the branches. This makes for more fruit and a healthier fruit bearer, if you will. Now in relationships we have a tendency to try to use the same method of operation. Trying to prune and pluck away the unnecessary so that we can have a bountiful and abuntantly happy relationship with someone else. Not realizing that the focus isn't just on the harvest. It's not even on the seed planted to produce the harvest. The focus should be on what the seed was planted in. If the soil is dry and nurtient starved, it won't bear much fruit but if the plant is transplanted into healthy, rich soil... you get where I'm going. Back tracking to the pruning technique... those branches will grow back. The ones you tried to pluck away. The hurt feelings and sleepless nights. The insecurities and idiosyncratic behavior from past situations will sprout themselves again if the plant itself (YOU) isn't transplanted into nurtured soil.
Okay, so I thought about this for a little while and then began to think, "Well, where does the nurtured soil come from?" Now this is my own personal philosophy but I believe it comes with time spent alone. Composting all of the dead things. Tossing them all together and letting them break themselves down so that all that's left is the lesson learned. And just like with making compost all that's really left after all the "leftovers" are broken down is the nitrogen which causes the plant to grow tremendously. So let's say the lessons learned are the nitrogen in a relationship. I believe that this type of growth can really only take place when you've spent time reevaluating and allowing the "leftovers" to break themselves down. Once the compost is ready to be added to some soil (new relationship) all that needs to be done is the transplant. Now this isn't to say there isn't any more work involved...
I know this may seem very scatter-brained, I tried my best to explain my new relationship philosophy as plain as I possibly could. I guess you could say, spending time gardening has opened my mind even more. I don't think I've thought so much in such a short period of time. lol!!!! I think it makes sense though and I just wanted to give you all something to chop up and chew on for your Monday. So, if you want to leave a comment feel free. If not, I'm sure I'll have something else to say tomorrow.
Buh-bye friends!
2 comments:
Good job grasshopper :-)
Wow good analogy! Yes I will concur that alone time is good for growth. It takes time for anything to take root. My husband and I did some gardening this weekend....he's very good, and he explained a lot to me about the process of growth (how ironic). Before we even planted anything he said we had to let the ground break up from the winter months, and harsh weather, then we need a good soaking rain, not a pour, but just an aggrevating rain, the that the soil becomes rich and ready to plant. Not too wet, not to dry, but rich, moist soil, for good planting. We dug the hole and inserting the flowers he gave me one rule of thumb.....MAKE SURE THE SOIL IS PACKED FIRMLY AROUND THE "ROOT" because the root needs the soil to grow.......and I'll stop there and leave you all to think about the rest.... but I was blown away.
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