Thursday, May 15, 2008


When the word enamored is used it’s usually coupled with some type of heaven-sent feeling one develops for someone they love or want to love. One of my favorite bloggers gave me a great idea to conclude this series and I decided to run with it. Seeing as how this series was based around fidelity or more so, infidelity this just made perfect sense. When we’ve been cheated on whether you stay with the person that cheated or not, we have a tendency to develop this fascination with the person they cheated with. What did they look like? How much money do they make? What do they drive? Do they know about me? Do they know what I look like? Can they do what I do (enough said)? An example comes to mind. In the later days of Bill Cosby’s sitcom A DIFFERENT WORLD, Whitley and Dwayne were planning their wedding and the stress of the planning pushes him away and in turn, he “cheats’ on her. Well, in essence, he goes on a date but it doesn’t get any farther than dinner. He's open and honest with her (Wednesday's topic). In an instant, after finding out that she’s been betrayed, she becomes obsessed. Every woman that passes her she says, “Maybe it’s her!” Funnily enough, her best girlfriend Kim, who knows who the chick is, yells out “It’s not her, okay!” I’m not ashamed to admit that I became fascinated with the other woman once and couldn’t understand why. Not why I wasn't the only one, but why I was obsessed with the idea of this person. After a while, I was shocked as to how much I actually knew about her. We have a tendency to put them down. “She’s not even that cute!” But that’s another topic all together. So, to all of my wonderful readers, let’s end this block of discussion on a high. Why are we ENAMORED by the other person?

Shot out to Big Jerz for this one! I love you, dude!


Ashley M. said...

Dope comment that was emailed to me -

I think we become so enamored (as women) because we are so emotional. I can speak for myself and say that I give my all (if you will) yeah, yeah, I know the 20/80 rule, but of what I can give of that 80% I give it. When that trust that I've put in that person is broken, after I've been told how great my touch is, how pretty I am, how he loves my mind, how he loves to see me do daily things to myself just to get myself going for the day, HOW GRRRRREEEEEATTTTTTTT THE CUSH IS!!!!!, how I make him feel like a king, I say all the right things etc., you have to ask yourself and kill yourself to find out what does this bitch have that I don't have. It's deeper than looks (to me), what did she do that I didn't do? You have to be careful not to start blaming yourself..............and take it all the way back to a couple of the words that were used earlier this week in this series "deceit and vindictive" . Because I'm so twisted I start studying the woman's behavior......her deceit.......her actions, her self-esteem, her passion to hurt someone's happiness because she's miserable, the lies she's deceived my man with just to get him to break our ties. Is it really to make another woman upset? or does she really want my man? Most of the time to me the other woman wants the chosen one to feel miserable, she doesn't really want your man................

Big Jerz said...

First things First, Ash this blog ROCKS and the last week of discussion has really gotten us all "LIFTED" !

I think the infatuation with the "Other" person stems from Insecurity and a sense of "WHAT DO THEY DO TO THAT MADE MINE BETRAY ME?" But there is even a deeper reasoning as weell. Check me out for a second. I went thru a season with my brother some years ago where his chick cheated and left him. He was devastated and quite frankly so was I. Having done the things she did and saying the things she said it was almost like she was not Herself ! My brother would say, "It's like I'm talking to a different woman than I was just yesterday...what did he do to her?" Yeah ! What did he (The Other Nigga) do to her ??? He went on a quest to find out who the other dude was and I couldn't for the life of me understand Why ! But after a few weeks it dawned on me that his quest was really to find out Who SHE was when she was with the other dude. What made her no longer want to have Bible time and take long rides to Upstate New York to get those Apple Spice cakes that they used to enjoy so much ? What came out of her that all of the sudden she wanted to hang out in the clubs and hit the city every weekend and decide she now wanted to be a part of the "In Crowd" that she spoke against so vehemently weeks before ? WHO WAS SHE WHEN SHE WASN'T WITH HIM ? That shit blew my mind when I thought about it ! So our infatuation or inundation with the third party manifests out of desire to know what happened to the one I spent so many quiet nights with ? What does she do during thunderstorms now ? Does he hold her like me ? What about when she gets her period ? Will he go to 3 stores looking for Haagen Dasz Butter Pecan...NO, Not Turkey Hill ! Haagen Dasz ! Does he care enogh to know that she likes to watch Cleveland Browns games because she has a "crush" on Braylon Edwards ? Will he understand that there's nothing to be jealous about or will he go overboard and... You get what I'm saying ? They years and tears and time it took for us to come to our understanding and have our "LIFE", working, though imperfect, working together nonetheless... Does she, will she, can she develop that with another so quickly ? Or was the act of sexual impropriety such an anomaly that I should forget and let it go ? DAMN ! This LOVE SHIT IS SO HOOD ! Anyway, Happy Friday My Niggs ! These are just my thoughts... I love yall ! Holla at a nigga !