Friday, May 9, 2008

Half Truths and Entire Lies

At the beginning of this relationship series I posed this question: If the person that you’re with does, in fact, dip out, creep, or mess around and takes the measure of keeping it from you for your benefit (and theirs as well) does that discount their love for you or does it show how much they care (for lack of a better word) to keep you from finding out and being hurt? I mean Jody said it best to Yvette in John Singleton's BABY BOY, "I'm out here tellin' these ho's the truth. I lie to you 'cause I care about yo' feelin's." This question was raised with the knowledge that they are, in fact, together. On the flip side, Monday I mentioned a couple of situations where people that were in love weren’t together for whatever reason and were having outside affairs or meantime romances. But in each case the “victimized” party was told of what happened and I believe this shows a type of care and concern as well. The “doers” were open and honest (forcibly or by choice) about what went down. Sometimes these statements can be malicious. “Yeah, I slept with him” or “ Damn right, Keisha let me hit. You weren’t anywhere to be found” or "Well, I hadn't heard from you and I needed it. What do you expect me to do?" This is juvenile and not the basis of today’s topic of discussion. But when the two parties are separated yet there is still that love connection and they reconnect, isn’t honesty the only policy?


Big Jerz said...

Ahhhhh....... I hate you for this one because this Blog is so thought provoking that it forces me to be PAINFULLY honest ! So here goes ! In all things (especially intimate relationships) it is your job to do one thing and one thing ONLY.... PLAY THE HAND YOU ARE DEALT ! Ha ! In other words, know your partner well enough to do whatever needs to be done in order to preserve the success of the relationship. Here's an example: If Mona and I were to be driven away from one another for a short time and then reconnected, because of my own fear of leaving her "needing" something while I was away, I'd badger her and play Inspector Gadget and basically kill myself trying to find out if anything happened while we were "off" ! Especially if the guilt and knowledge of what I'd done while we were "off" was killing me just beneath the surface ! LOL !!! So in all honesty, Mona, knowing the Over reacting, prone to rash behavior, potentially violent revenge seeker that I can be, the right hand to play would be unless I can ABSOLUTELY NEVER find out by my own devices, DENY EVERYTHING UNTIL YOU DIE ! LOL !!!! Uggghhh I Hate saying it ! But it's true ! Think about it, we're in a relationship with someone and you begin to know one another so well, you have to know what will be the outcome of each move you make. If you don't think whatever happened while you were "off" can get in the way of the future of your reconnected relationship then you need to keep that info "WHERE ? BACK THERE !" LOL ! Unless you're concerned about being or having gotten someone pregnant during the "Off" season, or gotten a disease, or afraid that the "off" season felt too good to leave behind....Keep that shit under wraps, wrap yourself back around the original love, Wrap your mind around the idea of succeeding with the one you're with and wrap up any connection to outside distractions and you and your Lover will have this lovething all Wrapped up ! By the way,wrap up The Weapon too Fellas if you don't want no babies, cause that "reconnected, I'm sorry and I ain't leaving No More" Sex is BANANAS ! But Hey these are just My thoughts My Niggas...Holla

Ashley M. said...

A simple answer from a reader - definately. Also, you ain't touching nothing on me until you get a STD me just how much you love me. Disease is real, just like the infidelity you committed. I tries to keep it real.