Monday, May 19, 2008

Sex Like a Man

One of my favorite shows is the HBO series Sex and the City and in honor of the full-length feature release on May 30, I decided to use this week as a series-based block of discussion. I’ll be pulling from poignant episodes in addition to other sources, as I’ve done before. If you’ve never seen an episode, you should at least know that the show is about a group of women that live their lives dating and sharing their dating experiences in the Big Apple. In the very first episode of the series, the topic of women having sex like men is explored and two of the women went on missions to see if they could, in deed, detach themselves from the emotionalism of sex and just enjoy the act as is. No strings. Just sex. Samantha, the more sexually liberated one of the clan, had already mastered this practice and was enjoying life bouncing from one bed to another – like men have a tendency to do. Carrie ran into an old flame and decided to turn him into a fling. They made small talk, went back to his place for a mid-day romp, she got dressed and left. After leaving the apartment she wore a luminous smile and the voice over stated, “I’d just had sex like a man.” I found this to be interesting, at best. Never having been one to ever want to attempt having more than one partner, I found this baffling. How can a woman – being such an emotional creature, wanting to love and nurture all that we do – detach herself from something as emotionally involved as sex? Is it possible? Can a woman really have sex like a man?


Ashley M. said...

My sister's thoughts (emailed) -

I can only speak for myself and say no. However, it is a disgrace for a woman to lower her standards to do as men do. With that said yes woman can do it, but it is usually because they've been hurt, or are bitter. It is a disgrace because women are inward, and they receive, and to bounce from bed to bed to bed, is very disgraceful. A woman should cherish and love herself enough to not detach herself from one of her greatest attributes her ability to love. Good blog!

Big Jerz said...

In the natural essence of a woman I'd say no...watching many of the women I've grown up with struggle with sexuality, I know that they all are very attached to their sex. Even women who seem to have sex like Samantha are doing so out of some emotional comfort zone, or discomfort zone that makes them appear detached. Being a huge SATC fan myself I know that as the seasons grew on Samantha became more open about her ability to hook up and keep it moving. Quite honestly by series end she had become one of the MOST emotional women in the Foursome....especially about her sex. I think women, for a season can do anything and everything "like a man". But at some point nature will force upon them the matriarch-like responsibility that forces a change in action. The desire to care for or nurture, the desire to perfect or present something to the world...It all will eventually begin to take over. Ultimately, oft times the "Sex Like A Man" attitude rises up out of a woman having constantly hit against the brick wall of being taken advantage of by the one she did attach herself to. Being hurt from a source so close to home enough times, may eventually force her to take on that Role herself rather than continuing a potentially fruitless search. So "Screwing like a Dude" or going hard "Like a Boy" (Thanks Ciara) even getting women to sexually surrender (like Samantha began to do)comes out of the mindset that says it's been done to me and I'll do it to someone else. It's like they think the "reversal of roles" can help them escape the pain that's been thrust upon them. Like the abused many times becomes the abuser.....I don't know. In any case I think it becomes abundantly real that most of a woman's motivation to "Have Sex like a Man" is intensely emotional so is it ever really like a man ? And furthermore, The best kept secret in the game is MEN CAN'T FUCK WITHOUT EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT EITHER !!!! Another discussion for another Blog ! Just my thoughts Beautiful People. Holla